The Indian Team

With India’s early exit from the WC, just about everybody is screaming bloody murder. The media and television networks are worried about the inevitable drop in viewership. The sponsors are crying about the moolah they spent covering our team and the short hand they were dealt by this early exit. The media will try to squeeze the last drop of honey while they possibly can by lambasting the players and our team on TV 24/7. Just about everyone has a strong opinion about Indian cricket. Ex-cricketers, sports journalists, columnists, and the doodh wala bhaiiyas will have a field day playing MMQB and writing 1000 word essays on the teams’ performance and our new POA to ensure India’s success at WC 2011. For starters here is what Kris Srikkanth has to say about the Indian performance: Too many experiments, but hardly any results. The BCCI will meet with the captain and the coach on April 6th to take “serious decisions” regarding Indian cricket. . So while we get ready for the aftermath of the Indian team’s performance where heads will roll for sure, here is me playing MMQB and offering my 2 cents worth.

Rahul Dravid (C) – A captain has to be a lot more imaginative than conventional. He is a thinking captain, but at times too conservative. IMHO, he should be persisted with because he has the potential to be India’s best captain ever. I would think he has another 2 yrs of cricket left in him. Having said that, he needs to take charge and call the shots a little more often. Standing by Sehwag was fine, but he definitely should have stuck to the “youth” tune that Chappell was singing. He cracked when it mattered most and fell back on his “experienced” seniors.

Sachin Tendulkar (VC) – I hope he plays cricket till he is 50. Anyway, making him the VC was a bad move. Groom some youngster instead. Let SRT do what he does best - BAT. He didn’t have a good tournament but he is the greatest batsman the world has seen. Bring him back as an opener (if he so wishes) and let him decide what he wants to do with his game. Although I have always been one of his biggest fans, I think he needs a few sessions with a sports psychologist. I refuse to believe that the best batsman in the world with every shot in the book cannot score (or at least look like he might score) a hundred in every match. In recent times he seems to get bogged down when there is too much pressure. Play like you don’t care.

Ganguly – He did well after he was brought back into the side. Everybody talks about Ganguly’s great comeback – well he performed well *after* he was brought back into the team. Lets face it, he didn’t deserve a comeback based on his domestic performance. In any case, he has played consistently ever since, although the strike rate has been alarmingly low. His running between the wickets, fielding, and selfish batting stick out like a sore thumb. Pick him on a series by series basis but give him another year (max) to retire in style while grooming a youngster to take his place.

Sehwag – It’s about time he is a *little* more consistent. If SRT needs to play like ‘he doesn’t care’ Sehwag needs to do the opposite. An average of 30 in ODIs is not acceptable and he needs to do the hard yards. Work on his fitness and shot selection. Drop him every time he doesn’t perform and pick him only when he is in form. Uthappa – He needs to be persisted with. The WC might not be the best place for an average newbie with a 5 ODI experience to showcase his talent. In him, I think we have a good flamboyant opener that we so desperately need.

Yuvraj Singh – He was the key - a terrific batsman in the form of his life. He needs to be the new VC.

Dhoni – Much will be made out of the way he got out against Murali. An explosive batsman/keeper who needs to be groomed right.

Dinesh Karthick – A decent keeper. I don’t know if he will make it in to the team as a pure batsman. But he brings a lot of energy on the field. Plus, looks like a genuine guy who is just happy to play for his country and will give it all for the team.

Pathan – Could someone please tell me why his pace dropped and how did he lose his swing? There was a 12 month period where Pathan and Dhoni were responsible for almost all the Indian victories. He is one genuine all rounder that India could have. He needs to play domestic cricket till he drops. The series against Bangladesh would be a good stage to test his match readiness.

Zaheer – He deserved a comeback. The attitude is gone and he has done the hard yards playing county cricket. The energy shows when he bowls. He needs to work on his bowling at the death though.

Munaf – The best we have. McGrath like. Pick up some pace and he will be one of the best. He might want to work on his fielding though which fluctuates between pathetic and hilarious.

Agarkar – The whipping boy of Indian cricket. He was never an all-rounder. Can’t resist giving the batsman at least one 4 ball in an over. He has been bowling well in the past 2 yrs, but has never been consistently consistent. Persist with him till you find someone better.

Sreesanth – He needs to play every ODI he can. Definitely one of our rising stars, he has yet to come to terms with one day cricket.

Kumble – All well, what can we say about India’s greatest bowler ever? A separate post on him later. Btw, he is to announce his retirement from one day cricket when he gets back to India. We will wait for the official announcement.

Harbhajan Singh – what’s the deal with him? Could someone please tell him that bowling 5 doosras in an over will never fetch him a wicket? He has been resting on his laurels for too long. He is way too defensive to be playing as our premier spinner. I can’t remember the last time he bowled a match winning spell (tests or ODI) or has made any sort of impression on the batsmen in ODIs. He bowls way too fast and flat for an off spinner entrusted with the responsibility of taking wickets in the middle overs. Powar should have played instead.

Ramesh Powar – He should have been picked instead of Bhajji (incase I haven’t said it enough times already). He is a genuine attacking off spinner who pushes batsmen into making mistakes with his loop and turn. Very useful in the middle overs. Now if only he would lose weight and pick up his fielding.

What changes would I make after the famous April 6th meeting? Drop Harbhajan and Ganguly. Include Powar, Piyush Chawla, Gautam Gambhir in the team. Persist with Chappell and Dravid. Make Yuvraj the VC. My lineup would be: Uthappa, Gambhir, Sehwag, Tendulkar, Dravid (C), Yuvraj (vc), Dhoni (wk), Pathan, Powar, Zaheer, Munaf. Extras: Karthick, Sreesanth, Chawla.

The week that was…

Last week turned out to be surprisingly busy at work. Found myself in the middle of a couple of new projects. The kind of projects that seem innocuous at first, but later snowball into a monster with a life of its own. Juggling work and the world cup matches has been tough, but the committed fan has managed it well. India crashing out of the world cup will definitely help matters though with the focus shifting back to work.

The most awaited match of the WC’07 so far turned out to be a non-contest. Sri Lanka raised their game when it mattered most and beat India comprehensively. What bothers me is not that India lost, but the way they lost. The fielding was mediocre at best, bowling was decent and captaincy conventional. Faced with the task of scoring 255 on a good batting strip, if the Indians had an appetite for a fight, they did well to conceal it and readily almost eagerly succumbed to the guile of a certain Murlitharan who showed the world exactly why he is touted as the world’s best spinner.

The few hopefuls (like yours truly) who had their sights trained on the Bangladesh-Bermuda match hoping for a Bermuda victory to grant India a backdoor entry into the super eights were disappointed yet again as Bangladesh made short work of Bermuda in a rain affected 21 over match.

The Aus v SA game was awesome. You had to see this game to realize that teams like India and Pakistan were never contenders. The level at which these teams play is way ahead of the rest of the pack. The Aussies scored heavily thanks to Gilchrist and a belligerent century by Hayden (which also happened to be the fastest century in a WC ever). Ponting missed out on a hundred which is not a big deal since he seems to score in hundreds every time he walks in to bat. Clarke played some terrific shots and showed clever use of the crease to slog his way to 92. Facing an uphill task of scoring 378 in 50 overs, the proteas went down all guns blazing. The opening stand of 160 in a mere 21 overs set the pace of this match. However, a phenomenal piece of fielding from Watson got rid of De Villiers, while the heat and cramps forced Smith into retirement. Kallis – South Africa’s best and my personal favorite – couldn’t quite up the tempo and Gibbs succumbed trying to his way out. When Tait’s swinging yorker wrecked the dangerous Boucher’s stumps, SA were definitely out of the chase. However, the best part was the way the SA fought and their attitude towards the game. This is separates these 2 teams from the herd. Logic would suggest that these teams would meet again in the grand finale. However cricket is a funny game and no one can predict what will happen in the knock out stages.

Indian beat Bermuda

Mar 19th India beat minnows Bermuda by 256 runs the biggest margin in ODI history. I have to admit, even though the opponents were Bermuda, the match was thoroughly entertaining if you were an Indian supporter. All the batsmen played well – barring Uthappa and Ganguly who wasn’t in his groove although he made 80 odd runs. The bowlers did fairly well and improved their stats. Now to play like this against Sri Lanka…

A day of upsets

On March 17th, which will be remembered as the day of upsets in WC ‘07, India lost against Bangladesh and Pakistan was thrown out of the WC. India’s insipid display, spineless performance and body language suggested they wanted to be anywhere but on the cricket field. The Pakistan team lost to minnows Ireland waking up the bookies in the process. Now these teams will be criticized in their respective countries, cursed, abused, and pelted with stones till the media finds a new punching bag. Of the two, India is in a slightly better position because after their win over Bermuda, theoretically they can still make it to the super 8. Anyway, since all hell broke loose, here are a couple of interesting reads that are out there on the world wide W.

1. Kamran Abbasi writes another article bashing Pakistan for their performance. To be fair, he did write another big piece on how Woolmer was a great man and contributed to Pak cricket after his recent death. Funny how we realize somebody’s greatness after they have passed away.

2. Kris Srikkanth is obviously a man who “doesn’t mince any words” (replace with “shoots from the hip”, “is trigger happy” etc) even when you ask him a harmless question like “How’s the weather?” Obviously subtlety, diplomacy, politeness is lost on him which is the reason I think all his articles, tv interviews/shows etc are a must read/see. Playing the MMQB to perfection, here’s what he has to say about Agarkar and Zaheer in his latest column after India’s defeat against Bangladesh.

Given the fact we have one medium pacer who after 10 years of international cricket does not have a idea to bowl six balls with offering a ‘boundary ball’ or not to let slip a wide or a no-ball. And another who trains his thoughts on how to glare at batsman rather than plot his downfall!

Bob Woolmer - R.I.P

The entire world was shocked to learn of Bob Woolmer’s now ‘suspicious’ death in Jamaica. There were glowing tributes from across the cricketing world. A great strategist and a brilliant student of the game, Bob will be missed. I just hope there is a thorough investigation and the world gets to know the truth behind his death.

"Bob Woolmer had such a massive influence on my cricket career, and I know that there are countless cricketers around the globe who are just as devastated as I am by his sudden passing. Bob literally gave his life for the game he loved so dearly, and while he had already made such an immense contribution to cricket, his premature death has deprived the game of someone who still had so much to offer the cricketing community. My thoughts and prayers are with Gill and the family." - Jonty Rhodes

Check the full coverage of Bob Woolmer's passing on Cricinfo.

Sachin the best - Ponting

Ponting states the bloody obvious. Read Sachin the most complete batsman: Ponting. I am curious if this is a way to appease your Indian fans after the stupid comments earlier.

Howzzat? I mean,“Ye kaisi thi?”

Here is a must read: Pakistan banned from speaking English in conferences. The brilliant Pakistani team management thought it would be an awesome idea to have Pak players speaking in only Urdu to – believe it or not – “promote tourism to Pakistan.”

"A journalist spoke to Danish Kaneria and asked him what he thought about the gas leak and he tried to play the incident down and said 'It happens'.”But when the report came out the journalist quoted him saying 'It happens at home as well'. "So we would rather avoid these kinds of incidents and speak in Urdu at official times, as well as for reasons of promoting Pakistan."

I have a suspicion in future matches, the Pakistani team might just play with 12 players. No I am not counting the umpire – they did that before the advent of the neutral umpires. I am talking about a translator on field to translate all the sledging and appeals. The next time Shoaib (if he decides to focus on cricket for a change) bowls a bouncer and comes snarling at the batsman with a few pleasantries to share, we might see a translator hurrying along the pitch to make sure the batsman understands every word of it.

The ICC as usual has spoiled the party They think the process of translating for the players might take too much time and hence Pakistan should resort to English. Captain Inzy Haq wasn’t too happy about speaking in Urdu either since he thought the timing of the decision reflected poorly on the players. Well Inzy, here is something I read the other day on Panicker’s blog.

Tony Greig called up man of the match Inzy ul Haq, and then Tony went into this long rigmarole about what a bitch of a pitch it was, how difficult batting was, how no batsman managed to look remotely competent, and how in the midst of it all Inzy had played like an angel.. Through it all, Inzy stands gazing at the heavens, an ex-pression of blissful unconcern on his face.
"So, Inzy, tell us, how hard was it to bat on that wicket," goes Tony.
Inzy blinks into wakefulness on hearing his name, flashes a beatific grin at his interlocutor, and goes, "Nice peetch, no problem."
It was one of the most hilarious tv moments ever.

I would think hearing the players butcher English would reflect more poorly on the team. For the select few, fortunate enough to represent their country, I would think they would work a little on their public speaking skills. Kaise rahi?

JAWS - Snack Attack

Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are. - Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (French Lawyer, Politician and Writer, 1755-1826)

Aren’t midnight snacks fun? I generally tend to pick the sweetest, fattiest, greasiest, cheesiest, most unhealthy snack possible. Come midnight, and I think I like to “weigh” my options more carefully than I would normally do. Ice cream/Pizza is good. Anything loaded with saturated fat and a million calories is better. Question to ponder about while finishing your bag-o-chips: When exactly did food stop being food and become “calories”?

Anyway, I used to get pretty creative and adventurous around midnight. The spicy French toast (is it still French?) was invented one such night. In recent times though I have tended to give into the microwaveable quick fixes – the only problem being, they aren't unhealthy enough. As I ‘grow’ into my recliner with a built-in crapper and get more comfortable by the day, I can only thank the wonderful people at Pepsico Inc. for making my life easier. Enter any supermarket, grocery store, gas station or a general hospital and the choices I have are mind-boggling. I am like a kid lost in a Frito-Lay store. Not only do I have a thousand different varieties of chips to choose from, I have hundreds of dips and salsas to go with them. What I admire about Frito-Lay is that not only do they make great products (Cheetos – my personal favorite), but they also have a great sense of humor. Every bag has “nutritional” information at the back and they have recommended “serving sizes” which if you take seriously would mean you could have 3 chips a week. Hilarious.

On a side note - what's the deal with opening a near empty refrigerator in the middle of the night and generally staring blankly for a few minutes expecting food to magically appear out of nowhere?

Losing my chain of thought... Gotta eat... Lift… arm... to… open… bag…

Captain Ponting

In calm waters, every ship has a good captain.

Captain Ricky Ponting is distinctly un-comfortable in un-chartered territory as he finds himself in an un-familiar role of manning the Aussie ship in un-friendly waters. Aussies lost their last five ODIs and have certainly lost their aura of invincibility. Already in a corner, it is easy to understand why cricket legend Sunny Gavaskar might have touched a raw nerve when he targeted Team Australia’s on-field behavior.
Gavaskar: "There is not the slightest doubt that in the last decade or so the Aussies have been awesome in batting, bowling and fielding, which has taken them to the top of the cricketing ladder. But they have also been awful in the way they have sometimes behaved on the field much to the chagrin of the traditional fans of the game."

Read Ricky’s response: Ponting targets Gavaskar over behaviour. Excerpt:
Ricky Ponting: "If he is talking about us, what about the way India has played their cricket over the last few years?" India won three of 12 Tests last year while Australia were successful in their ten games. "I know who I would rather be going to watch," Ponting told the paper. "Have a look at how many Test matches they have won. He [Gavaskar] has been a big part of that, he has been a selector and he has been on the coaching committee. They might want to start to look at the way they play their own cricket rather than looking at us."

Relax Ricky, its ok, not everybody can handle pressure, and I guess that’s what separates the good from the great. But seriously, we are talking about on-field behavior, not about winning matches. And while there are 20 holes in your childish response waiting to be torn apart, I think it’s time you shut your trap and focus on what you do best – score runs. Your logical reasoning and argumentative skills aren’t exactly your strong points – your batting is. Once you are out of your purple patch and the runs dry up, it will be tougher to fend off the vultures. So here is hoping that McGrath signs off in style, Hayden bludgeons his way through the WC, Symonds provides the balance your team needs, Clark plays to his potential, and you score some runs so you can win the WC and be an ass about it too. Maybe once you are in calm waters, you will mellow down and stick to being brash, arrogant, and abusive strictly on the field.

On a separate note, I think it is beneath a cricketing great like Gavaskar to even acknowledge Ricky’s comments. However, in his response ('Aussies could get whacked in a bar') to Ricky’s moronic statement, Gavaskar compares the Australians and the West Indies side of the 1970s and '80s, adding that the players from the Caribbean were more popular champions.

They [West Indies] did not abuse the opponents. They did not have anything to say to the opponents. When they were dominating world cricket the West Indians did not resort to personal abuse on the field, they just played the game hard, they were very tough competitors but there was nothing untoward in their behaviour towards their opponents. West Indian players always had a smile on their face when they came in at the end of day's play to talk with you and to commiserate when you lost, you could see that there was no arrogance there. Cricket lovers all over the world wanted the West Indies teams to get back on their feet and start winning again.

India thrash WI in practice match

Ind vs. WI - second practice match scorecard.

You know you are a goner when you even follow the practice matches with interest...

India - WC Practice match 1

India beat Netherlands by 182 runs in their WC practice match. The jubiliant few can check the scorecard.

Tendulkar will dominate the limelight

Read Harsha Bhogle's latest piece: Tendulkar will dominate the limelight.

Great men invite challenges; they like the idea of the opposition, or circumstance, placing obstacles in the way for it allows them to demonstrate their ability, to paint a new picture, to vanquish any hindrance.

Meetings

Have you noticed how some of your co-workers have this habit of inviting the entire world to their meetings – whether their participation is value-added or not? Stuck in one such meeting I was doing the tight rope walk of trying to stay awake while looking intelligent, and actively suppressing homicidal thoughts, I silently wondered why these morons would tie everybody up in this useless exercise. Maybe they like showing people how hard they are working or maybe they just like to hear themselves talk. Maybe it’s the office calendar feature which is just so cool that they can’t resist inviting people so they can ‘refresh’ and check how many have accepted. Or it could be the fact that they have nobody else to talk to. Heck, I have a sneaking suspicion my ex-boss used to call meetings when she wanted to show off her new dress. What better away to parade your new dress around then to call a meeting where you know there will be at least one person pathetic enough to notice and compliment you, and the rest will be subversive enough to feel obligated to do the same. Whatever the reason, these people need to grow up. How many of you have been invited to meetings with no agenda? If you don’t have an agenda, don’t call a meeting. Let’s just chat over lunch.

Early to bed…

Early to bed and early to rise
Makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise.

I tried to follow this pretty assiduously as a kid. But cut to Engineering college (and the infinite wisdom that comes with teenage years) and I found this hard to digest. I mean, my friends and I used to be up all night chatting, partying and generally enjoying life. In fact, our hostel used to come alive after midnight. We had heated discussions about cricket, politics (inter-group, college level, regional, national, international, and everything in between), girls, sex, movies (not in this order) – basically everything under the sun except studies and course work. Playing under-arm cricket in the hostel lobby at 2 am wasn’t uncommon. So I slept at about 3-4 am and got up at 10-10:30 am on a good day to make it to class. The more I thought about my lifestyle, the less this adage made sense to me. The basic flaw in the above saying is the underlying assumption that by rising early you get time to exercise, study and make excellent financial decisions like 401K, social security and investing in Enron. What if I wake up at 5am every morning and spend my time eating junk and playing solitaire? Come to think of it, isn’t the world designed for the late-nighters? Why do we end up chatting and debating in the middle of the night? Never once have I heard of an impromptu fruitful (read meaningless) discussion at 5am in the morning. Why do we make always plans for Friday/Saturday nights? I haven’t heard anyone say – “Let’s meet up and paint the town red this Saturday morning. 7 am good for you?” Last time I checked, we had ‘night’-clubs, not a single ‘day club’ in the yellow pages. Restaurants have hoardings screaming “open late.” All the games are scheduled in the evenings. Most of the tv channels play all night but try switching the tv on in the morning and all you have is Chuck Norris promoting a miracle machine that will miraculously make you muscular and fit - all for the small matter of a gazillion payments of $29.99 per month.

Conclusion: The wise old man who wrote this adage didn’t come from a big city with night-life and I am sure had no social life whatsoever.

Conclusion – 2: Even with my nocturnal lifestyle, I am pretty healthy (touchwood). Wealth? Ah, it is such a relative term. And as far as wisdom is concerned, astute readers can make their own judgments based on the smart conclusion drawn above.