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Memento

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? - Homer Simpson

Homer’s quote was hilarious not so long ago. Today it is the sad reality of life. I have a tough time remembering things, shudder at the thought of learning something new, and frequently google “alzhiemers” (“Did you mean: Alzheimer’s?” Google asks condescendingly and I concur sheepishly.)

Recently, I’ve been flirting with the thought of getting a professional certification. One of the certifications I was interested in requires me to review about 4 different text books and a comprehensive 4 hour closed book exam. Text books. That sucked the fun out if it right there. And even if I did manage the text books, I need to remember things for a closed book exam. That's too much for me to handle.

I think I have reached a point where my brain is absolutely saturated with mindless memories (my favorite t-shirt when I was 4 yrs old – and no, I did not see it again in a photograph, the exact store I bought the lock for my bicycle from etc), junk I don’t need to remember (BEST bus numbers and their routes in Mumbai – why they call them “best” buses when they are anything but, is a mystery), phone numbers of my crushes in school (in alphabetical order), random conversations with random people I have met on the bus/train, all the conversations with my close friends and family, faces of people I met in a wedding ceremony in 1987, some clever repartee that I came up with (albeit a tad late and to myself), dreams from 15 years ago (okay, so the dreams were interesting), embarrassing moments I have been trying to forget all my life, the list goes on. Stuff I don’t remember: things to do around the house, paying bills, work related stuff. Heck, I remember my lessons (with chapters and page nos) from school and college, but barely recall my Masters’ coursework. I read somewhere; you remember stuff that you want to remember. If that’s the case, I really do want to pay my bills and would love to forget some embarrassing incidents from high school. Hasn’t worked so far.

Before googling Alzheimers, check: Memory Loss With Aging: What's Normal, What's Not. And for an inspirational story check out how Lack of Short-Term Memory Didn’t Stop New Grad. And while on memory loss, check out the absolutely terrific thriller Memento if you haven’t already.

Now that I remembered to write this down, I better post it before I forget.

Pomegranate..

The latest marketing gimmick ..
The Truth Behind the Pomegranate Craze

The Indian Premier League (IPL) – Apna Sapna Money Money

The IPL auctions are underway and it’s not just Preity Zinta’s dimples that are making the news. Emotions are running high and while some think this is cricketing history being created, others feel this is the cheapening of cricket for money. And there is a ton of money involved. Almost enough for Sharad Pawar to retire to the Himalayas. And that would take a lot of money.

A comprehensive coverage of the IPL auction is posted here. So who were the players that the franchises bid fiercely for? Mahendra Dhoni and Andrew Symonds, obviously, as their signing amounts of US$1.5m and US$1.35m respectively suggest. Any bizarre purchases? Sure. McGrath and Mike Hussey were bought for $350,000 each while Ponting fetched $400,000. Meanwhile, Ishant Sharma (flavor of the day – but certainly no McGrath) was sold for $950,000, Manoj Tiwary (?) and Mohd Kaif (remember him?) for $675,000 each. Ponting is surprised. So is the rest of the sane world.

Check out how the teams stack up here. Bangalore’s Mallya was probably high on Kingfisher when he bid for players. Although if they change the IPL format from T20 to test matches, Bangalore will be the team to beat. Don’t see that happening. Meanwhile Laxman gave up his icon status to lead Hyderabad – which is really looking the best team on paper so far. With a rush now to get the backroom staff and high profile coaches in place, the IPL promises entertainment even before the tournament starts. And if the IPL is run anything like the European football league or the NFL, this can only help cricket.

PS: In case you are wondering who the franchise owners are, apart from Mallya and Ambani – check this out.

The Electoral Compass

In case you are still undecided or plain confused - discover your position in the political landscape for the USA presidential election of 2008 with this Electoral Compass.

13/10

Bermuda were all out for 13 and then lost the game in 4 balls.

South Africa 15 for 0 beat Bermuda 13 (Loubser 6-3) by ten wickets. Here's the scorecard.

Wonder if the specatators got their money back.

The games we play

As kids we were pretty creative in making our own games. I remember playing “cricket” with a dirty rag rolled into a ball and an old notebook or exam pad used as bat. Then there was box cricket, Chinese cricket etc. Another favorite pastime was playing “tennis” on the road with old chappals as the “net”, while our hands served as a “racket” to hit an MRI ball across. Fun times.
Nowadays, kids are playing different kinds of games. Apparently some kids are playing the “choking game" in which they try to experience a fleeting "high" by cutting off the oxygen supply to the brain. U.S. says 82 youths have died in "choking game".

The report, the first effort to track this nationwide, identified the deaths of 82 people ages 6 to 19 from 1995 to 2007 that appear to have been caused by the choking game. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) said the report likely underestimates the toll. Boys accounted for 87 percent of the deaths in 31 states, the CDC said, with the greatest number of deaths among boys ages 11 to 16.

It also is known as the "blackout game," "passout game," "scarf game" and "space monkey," the CDC said. The CDC does not think publicity caused by the report will lead to more children trying the practice, Toblin said. "We chose to go ahead with the report because we think it's critical that parents, educators and health care providers become aware of this phenomenon so they can look for the warning signs of it."

Warning signs that a child may be trying the practice include bloodshot eyes, marks on the neck, severe headaches, the presence of ropes, scarves or belts tied to bedroom furniture or doorknobs or found knotted on the floor, or the unexplained presence of dog leashes or choke collars.

What would be interesting is to find out what is influencing the kids to play this game? Is it because of the perverse crap they see/read on the internet? How do you educate such kids and prevent this from happening? And more importantly, how do you teach someone not to kill themselves?

Doesn’t anyone play ball anymore?

Random Guy

Have you noticed, there are some people who just don't make sense when they speak? It's as if they randomly collect a bunch of words from their vocabulary, bundle them together, throw them at you, and then leave it to you to make sense of it. Invariably and unfortunately these folks just love to talk - which makes it a dangerous combination. A lot of times these people come across as 'deep' or 'profound' (at least initially) because we end up thinking, "Maybe. there is something I am not understanding... they obviously can't be that stupid" or "There is definitely more to this guy than meets the eye. Hmm interesting... "
I have a colleague who fits the description. Let's call him "random guy" - because he is random.

A random conversation with random guy:
A: Speaking of music, I saw Beyonce Knowles at the all star game. She sang the national anthem... she is an amazing singer!
B: Amazing singer... She is awesome! Love her.
Random guy: yeah, like Serena Williams.
Silence.
I can see the rest of the group racking their brains to figure out if this is 'profound' in any way or if they are missing something.
Finally and uncomfortably, A: Serena sings too?
B: You like Serena, like we like Beyonce?
A: You saw Serena at the all star?
Random guy: Beyonce looks exactly like Serena.
Silence. Rest of the group trying to spot similarities.. something they might have missed.
A: But, Beyonce is slim. Serena's a lot bigger...
Random guy: Right. Who is the slimmer of the Williams sisters?
B: Venus?
Random guys: She is exactly like Venus.
Silence.
B (trying to make sense): You mean she is an achiever? Has a lot of fighting spirit?
Random guy: Beyonce looks exactly like Venus.
Me: Apart from the fact that they are females, I don't...
Random guy: Are you kidding me? Have you seen "Fight Club"?
Silence.

Let is snow...

I need:

Not just the snow blower, but someone to blow the damn thing too.

Sun. Lots of it.



It should be pretty apparent after the 'graphic display of emotion' - we are getting a lot of snow. At the beginning of the winter, yours truly bravely made the decision to shovel this year instead of getting a snow blower. How hard would it be, I thought. In fact, it'll be fun. Besides, I could use the exercise. And with global warming catching up, it might not even snow. Afterall, we all know the inconvenient truth.
For the hopelessly ignorant (like me): Shoveling is hard work. Very f*ing hard work. And let's not forget the sub zero temperatures. It's definitely not fun. And if I need exercise, I can always get up from the recliner and walk up to the TV to change channels. No problems there. Global warming? It's a myth. Just ask George Bush.

Obviously, I missed the direct correlation that exists between the snow storms and me not getting a blower. I could make these winter storms stop. All I need to do is get a blower and it won't snow here for the next 5 years.

Incidentally, did you know that typical winter conditions (a little more than an inch of snowfall and temperatures that dip below 20 degrees) cause death rates from heart attacks to triple among men 35 to 49 years old?

Eat up, Its Superbowl!

If you thought Superbowl was all about Football, think again. According to Super Bowl consumption by the numbers,

Macro-economically speaking, national government statistics of three years ago reckoned that just under $55 million was expected to be expended on Super Bowl food alone. After spending an estimated 10 million man-hours (give or take a couple of seconds) preparing all that grub, Americans are expected to consume the lot within approximately 15 minutes, well before the first touchdown (on average) is scored.
How much do we eat as a nation? Almost 15,000 tons of chips and 4,000 tons of popcorn. In terms of sheer weight, about 12 million pounds' worth of potato chips were torn through during the 2002 game.

And you guessed right, there is an increase in antacid sales the day after: 20% per 7-Eleven.