Let is snow...

I need:

Not just the snow blower, but someone to blow the damn thing too.

Sun. Lots of it.



It should be pretty apparent after the 'graphic display of emotion' - we are getting a lot of snow. At the beginning of the winter, yours truly bravely made the decision to shovel this year instead of getting a snow blower. How hard would it be, I thought. In fact, it'll be fun. Besides, I could use the exercise. And with global warming catching up, it might not even snow. Afterall, we all know the inconvenient truth.
For the hopelessly ignorant (like me): Shoveling is hard work. Very f*ing hard work. And let's not forget the sub zero temperatures. It's definitely not fun. And if I need exercise, I can always get up from the recliner and walk up to the TV to change channels. No problems there. Global warming? It's a myth. Just ask George Bush.

Obviously, I missed the direct correlation that exists between the snow storms and me not getting a blower. I could make these winter storms stop. All I need to do is get a blower and it won't snow here for the next 5 years.

Incidentally, did you know that typical winter conditions (a little more than an inch of snowfall and temperatures that dip below 20 degrees) cause death rates from heart attacks to triple among men 35 to 49 years old?