Memento

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? - Homer Simpson

Homer’s quote was hilarious not so long ago. Today it is the sad reality of life. I have a tough time remembering things, shudder at the thought of learning something new, and frequently google “alzhiemers” (“Did you mean: Alzheimer’s?” Google asks condescendingly and I concur sheepishly.)

Recently, I’ve been flirting with the thought of getting a professional certification. One of the certifications I was interested in requires me to review about 4 different text books and a comprehensive 4 hour closed book exam. Text books. That sucked the fun out if it right there. And even if I did manage the text books, I need to remember things for a closed book exam. That's too much for me to handle.

I think I have reached a point where my brain is absolutely saturated with mindless memories (my favorite t-shirt when I was 4 yrs old – and no, I did not see it again in a photograph, the exact store I bought the lock for my bicycle from etc), junk I don’t need to remember (BEST bus numbers and their routes in Mumbai – why they call them “best” buses when they are anything but, is a mystery), phone numbers of my crushes in school (in alphabetical order), random conversations with random people I have met on the bus/train, all the conversations with my close friends and family, faces of people I met in a wedding ceremony in 1987, some clever repartee that I came up with (albeit a tad late and to myself), dreams from 15 years ago (okay, so the dreams were interesting), embarrassing moments I have been trying to forget all my life, the list goes on. Stuff I don’t remember: things to do around the house, paying bills, work related stuff. Heck, I remember my lessons (with chapters and page nos) from school and college, but barely recall my Masters’ coursework. I read somewhere; you remember stuff that you want to remember. If that’s the case, I really do want to pay my bills and would love to forget some embarrassing incidents from high school. Hasn’t worked so far.

Before googling Alzheimers, check: Memory Loss With Aging: What's Normal, What's Not. And for an inspirational story check out how Lack of Short-Term Memory Didn’t Stop New Grad. And while on memory loss, check out the absolutely terrific thriller Memento if you haven’t already.

Now that I remembered to write this down, I better post it before I forget.